In the darkest days of the twentieth century, Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl made an observation that would help shape modern thinking about purpose and resilience. While imprisoned in Nazi concentration camps, Frankl noticed that those who were able to survive unimaginable suffering were often sustained by a sense of meaning—a reason to endure. Later, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote that when people have a “why” to live for, they can bear almost any “how.” Purpose, he concluded, is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
I was reminded of the power of why when I visited a man dealing with the ravages of an aggressive form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. In a matter of months, Kevin went from a relatively normal life to near-constant pain and very limited mobility. His prognosis is grim. He knows he will eventually face paralysis, the inability to speak, eat, and even breathe. Eventually, he will die. Despite these enormous challenges, Kevin and his wife find the strength to endure this trial with courage, grounded in their faith and in their family, which includes several children and grandchildren. Faith and family are their why.
Understanding our why also matters in the more ordinary — and often more persistent — challenges of daily life. Consider saving for retirement. Doing so frequently requires us to give up enjoyable experiences today in order to live the life we want in the future. Such self-denial can be difficult.
Several years ago, my wife and I lived in Minneapolis with our five young children. One March, our twelve-year-old daughter asked why we didn’t spend spring break in Hawaii like some of her friends. With temperatures in the low teens, I wondered the same thing. But I knew the answer. We were saving for the future — college for our children and our own retirement. If we were going to reach those goals, Hawaii would have to wait. It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted in that moment, but our why made the decision clear. (I’m not sure that explanation satisfied our daughter at the time, but she now appreciates the education that decision — and others like it — helped make possible.)
If you are struggling to keep your financial goals on track, the solution may not be more discipline or better spreadsheets. It may be gaining greater clarity about your why. The following questions can help you define it. If you are married or have a significant other, you may find it especially helpful to consider them together.
1. If I knew I were going to die tomorrow, what would I regret not doing today?
2. If it were in my power, what would I change right now to bring greater financial peace to my life?
3. How does my relationship with money affect my relationships with others?
4. If I knew my needs would be met for the rest of my life, how would I change the way I spend my money?
5. How do I want my children and grandchildren to remember me when I am gone?
6. Which possibility troubles me more: missing life’s experiences today or facing financial uncertainty later?
7. What was the last purchase I truly regretted?
8. Three years from now, when I look back, how will I know I am making the financial progress I desire?
9. In the last twelve months, how much money have I given to causes I care about?
Ultimately, our financial lives are not just about numbers, rates of return or market forecasts. They are about aligning our resources with what matters most to us. When our spending, saving and giving are anchored to a clearly defined why, financial decisions become less stressful and more coherent — even when they are difficult. Purpose provides context, patience and peace. Whether we are facing life’s deepest trials or its everyday trade-offs, understanding our why helps us choose wisely, stay the course and live with greater confidence that our money is serving our lives — not the other way around.
Steven C. Merrell is a partner and managing director at Creative Planning (formerly known as Monterey Private Wealth). He welcomes questions you may have concerning investments, taxes, retirement or estate planning. Send your questions to: Steve Merrell, 2340 Garden Road, Suite 202, Monterey, CA, 93940. Or you can email steve.merrell@creativeplanning.com. This commentary is provided for general information purposes only, should not be construed as investment, tax or legal advice, and does not constitute an attorney/client relationship. Past performance of any market results is no assurance of future performance. The information contained herein has been obtained from sources deemed reliable but is not guaranteed.
