The word combination of “Death and Taxes” has inextricably been linked together for as long as I can remember, both “unavoidable.”
In her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief of someone who is dying. With NO intent to make light of the seriousness of her work and subject matter, I have often been humorously struck with the parallel stages I encounter when having to tell a client they owe substantial tax amounts. All the quotes in “my tax version” are actual client quotes from this tax seasons’ past. Here you go:
Stage 1: Denial and Isolation – “This is not happening to me.”
My tax version: “Clearly, you must have made a mistake. If I made that much money, then where did it go?” “It is impossible for me to owe almost 40% of my earnings to the government.”
Stage 2: Anger – “How dare God do this to me?”
My tax version: “Clearly, YOU must have made a mistake.” “I never had to pay that much tax with my last tax preparer!” “Why didn’t you tell me?” (Honest, this last utterance came from a tax client who came into my office in April with an enormous amount of 2024 income having never told me about said income prior to April 2025). “If you are so smart, then YOU DO something to lower my taxes.” “This is all Obama’s fault.” “This is all the fault of the Republican-controlled House.” “Is this because of Obamacare?”
Stage 3: Bargaining – “Just let me live to see my son graduate.”
My tax version: “How are we going to afford my son’s college tuition?” “Since my wife gave birth in January 2025, she was clearly more pregnant in 2024 than 2025. Therefore, we should be able to claim my new baby as a dependent in 2024 and get the child credit and the exemption.” “How about if we report some of 2024’s income in 2025?”
Stage 4: Depression – “I can’t bear to face going through this, putting my family through this.”
My tax version: “How am I going to tell my wife (husband)?” “My wife (husband) wanted to remodel the kitchen, wanted to buy a car, wanted a face lift (no kidding!), wanted to go on vacation to Hawaii, etc., etc.” “I don’t have the money, will I go to jail?” “I just want to quit my job. What’s the sense of working when I have to give all my money to the government?”
Stage 5: Acceptance – “I’m ready. I don’t want to struggle anymore.”
My tax version: “Who do I write the checks to and do I send them by certified mail?”
If any one of my clients reading this column recognizes a quote, I implore them not to take it personally. Instead, just laugh!
Barry Dolowich is a certified public accountant and owner of a full-service accounting and tax practice with offices in Monterey. He can be reached at (831) 372-7200. Please address any questions to Barry at PO Box 710 Monterey, CA 93942-0710 or email: bdolowich@gmail.com
